Didn't we do this last year?

Another year has come to an end (by our current reckoning at any rate) and we once again come to that time when we evaluate the year that has passed and plan for the one yet to come; or maybe not.  While the tradition of the New Year's resolution is still strong in today's world, I wonder how many of us have in truth dispensed with the task of drawing up task or goal, usually one which is just beyond the reach of reality, and have set about to attempt to reach, and yet perennially fall short of the mark.  Personally, I have stopped making New Year's resolutions.  Not that it happened consciously, but rather looking back on the past few years I've noticed the new year come and go with no real plan put in place to increase, decrease, alter, or discontinue a said action or behaviour.  Perhaps it is because of past experience with failure to reach a New Year's goal, coupled with the awareness that the goal was slightly ludicrous to begin with, and yet an equally ludicrous goal would be dreamed up for the following year.

Don't misunderstand, I think goals are important; when they're formed rationally, that is.  However, I would rather have a year that was based on small goals developed (and altered if need be) throughout, instead of staring off with a bang and slowly, or on some cases, quickly fading into a shadow of disappointment.  Around this time many people turn towards fitness goals, and I am no exception.  I have found, though, that the road to fitness has been a long one with many detours, breakdowns, successes, surprises, and complete failures.  As a result, I no longer look to the new year with the mantra, "This year I will get fit."  Rather, I see the new year as an opportunity to renew an ongoing commitment to better fitness and health.  A subtle difference, perhaps, but one that I think needs to be acknowledged.  It's one thing to say, "Starting on January 1st, I will get into shape."  It's another to say, "I understand this to be a process; a process that has taken many years up to this point, and if I'm honest with myself, will require the rest of my life to maintain.  As this is the start of a new year, I will take the time to appreciate what I've accomplished so far, acknowledge where I have fallen short, and focus myself  for the days to come."

Of course, this does not have to be limited to fitness.  I have many other "projects" on my list, as I'm sure you do as well.  Being a better husband and father, fixing up the house, improving relationships with family members, becoming a more understanding person, et cetera, et cetera.  Again, these are all works in progress and to pick the 1st of January as a starting point would, to some degree, disregard all the work done in the past.  People sometimes think of New Year's as starting off with a clean sheet; I do not.  We are not clean sheets, nor can we, I believe, ever make ourselves so.  Our past will always be with us; it's what makes us who we are.  The future is a funny place.  It's the one destination that will never ultimately be reached, and it's the one trip where our baggage is guaranteed not to be lost.

In the end, I guess I don't see the new year as a rebirth or reinvention of self, rather it's a continuation of the person I am already and prelude to person I am yet to be.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to get ready for my next run.  Yes, it's called the "Resolution Run" and yes it takes place on on January 1st., but really I'm just in it for the swag... really...

Confessions of a reluctant runner. Part 2, Musically inclined

So, I've been running for a while now, and for some reason I've never included music to my outings.  Alright, the reason is I've been too cheap to pick up an iPod for myself.  Anyway, up to this point the only thing I've been listening to is the sound of my own breathing.  For the most part I was fine with this arrangement.  Listening to my breathing had forced me to concentrate on my pacing and my effort.
A couple of weeks ago I started taking an old iPod on my runs.  I couldn't believe the difference!  The music made me feel more energized, made the run feel less tedious, and made the whole experience just better.  I was worried about the distraction that it would cause, but it turns out the distraction was a pleasant one.  I was surprised how much the music affected me.  There's only been one small glitch.  The iPod I use freezes in the cold temperature.  So while I'm enjoying the music, it only lasts part way through my run.  Even so, I seem to be able to continue on the same pace, using the memory of the music to push me along.
As a result, I now want to have music on all my runs.  In fact, I'm quite excited to see what may happen with my longer distances.  It would be interesting to see if the addition of music will help me through the inevitable mental and physical roadblocks that pop up during a long distance run.  I'll also have to spend some time constructing the perfect playlists for my runs.  However, before that can happen, I need to find an iPod, and possible accessory, that will allow me to run in the cold without it freezing up on me.  Obviously, Apple needs to invest a little more in Canadian content when it comes to R&D.
Now, to construct the perfect running playlist...

'Tis the season!

Well, it's that time again.  Christmas!  A bright shining light to many, a source of major stress and general ill humour for me.  For quite a few years now, I have had a love-hate relationship with this time of year.  Oh, I guess I enjoy the lights and trees and whatnot, but they always seemed to get overshadowed by certain stresses that slowly, over the course of the month of December, pile up.  One of the big things, especially since we've had children, was that Christmas morning was always at someone else's house.  Even before the kids, it never seemed as though my wife and I had any opportunity to create traditions of our own.  Instead, it was a mad dash between families and households to participate in other people's Christmases.
This year, however, I feel a sense of renewal this as with our new (and more accommodating) abode, my wife, my children, and I will be hosting Christmas at our house.  Once again, I feel excited for Christmas morning!  I'm looking forward to our kids waking up and opening presents from Santa without dreading the part when we have to abandon the newly opened joy to get dressed and loaded into the minivan for to make the rounds.
Please don't misunderstand me.  I love my family.  It's great to get together with them and all.  As someone who doesn't believe in gods, virgin births, or that Caesar Augustus would be so inept as to supposedly create a census that required Joseph to return to his place of birth, Bethlehem, to be enumerated there instead of the common, and much more logical practice of having individuals counted where they presently reside (but then, that's only one version of the story), I have instead focused upon Christmas as a time to get together with family and to enjoy the company of loved ones.  That is why, with the splitting of time and the feelings of guilt for spending more time at one house or another, I have longed for a Christmas without the rush.  I can see how this comes off as selfish, and I suppose in a way it is.  I fret about getting the "right gift" for others, I despise asking for gifts from others, but what I do wish for is a Christmas of joy and leisurely pace.  There, that's it.
Now I am not naive to the distinct, nay, certain possibility that our house will be completely mental on December 25th.  I am prepared, if only by way of delusion, for such a scene, for I am looking forward to the point in the day when things start to wind down and instead of looking painfully at the prospect of gathering the little ones and making our way back, I, for once in a long time, will take refuge in the fact that I am already home; and I will have been glad that I was able to open my door and my home to my family.
In the end, Christmas is important to me, and even though we may not be able to do Christmas at out house every year, I am glad for the opportunity to do it this year, and we'll go from there.
As a final note, here is one of my favourite Christmas songs.  I still like that standard hymns, but this one brings a tear to my eye.  It reminds me of why this time is important to me and why, in the end, I guess I do love Christmas.  Happy Christmas!