Confessions of a reluctant runner

For those of you who may not know, I run.  I try to get at least two runs in during the week over the lunch hour and I've participated in several running events including Run for the Cure, Gorilla Run, and several half and full marathons.  That being said, I still maintain that I am not a runner, rather I am someone who runs.  There is a difference.  Before I had participated in my first half marathon I told myself that I would not consider call myself a runner until I had participated in a major distance event.  It's been four years, five half and four full marathons since that time, and still I cannot call myself a runner.  There are a couple of reasons for this.

First, I don't believe a actually enjoy running.  I like the feeling that come after the run is done, be it 42km or just 5km.  The feeling afterward is, I'll admit, quite rewarding.  But when I'm on the road slogging it out, it's a real pain in the arse.  Seriously.  You've heard of the runner's high, know that thing that other runners talk about, where at some point during their run the endorphins kick in and they can push beyond the pain.  Yeah, not quite sure if I've ever had the pleasure.  From my own personal experience when I'm doing a distance run, if I start hurting it's with me to the bitter end.  Quite simply, when I head out for a run, regardless of the distance, it's always a chore.

Secondly, I don't really fit into the whole running culture.  I'm not up on the latest gear or training points.  I don't have any running partners or belong to a club.  I don't travel outside of the city to attend running events.  I've never learned how to properly pace myself, eat properly, or train effectively for, I'm sorry to say, the simple fact that I can't be bothered.  I really don't want to put that much effort into the whole enterprise.  When I show up to an event, I hang out by myself and watch as others arrive in two's or more, or if not, I see individuals reconnecting with one another from this club or that.

So, why do I do it?  It's not all that enjoyable.  I don't seem to put in a fraction of the effort that I probably should for maximum results.  I can't be bothered to connect with anyone else in the community.  Why do  run?  Well, for one it's cheap.  All you need is a decent pair of shoes and the rest is decoration.  Also, it's a very portable activity.  I can pack my gear and bring it to work with little effort.  I must admit that while the activity itself can be dull and taxing, I do enjoy the time alone.  I get a lot of thinking done on the trails.  However, when I honestly think of why I run, it is for the simple reason that I can.  A simple statement, yes, but one with some history.

There was a time when running was one of the last things I would consider doing.  Aside from forced runs in Phys. Ed., I wouldn't think of running for my own purposes.  There was a time back in high school when I tried to take up running.  I'm not sure what prompted this decision, but I do remember that I would often head out to work off steam after watching our local hockey club lose.  It was better than punching holes in the wall, I guess.  Anyway, by this point in my life I was starting to really pack on the pounds.  This seemed to have an effect on my ability to go any amount of distance without being out of breath and suffering from shin splints.  I had tried this running thing off and on for a couple of months, but in the end it resulted in disappointment.  It wasn't until years later that, on a whim, I purchased a pair of shoes and tried again.  It was winter and we were in the middle of a deep freeze when I set out for my run; not the optimum conditions to inspire.  To my surprise though, I did alright.  I was winded for sure, but my shins did not hurt the way they did before.  My confidence was bolstered and I wanted to try again.  And again.

So, when I say that I run because it's something I can do, it also means that I run because it's something which I didn't think I would be able to do.  That being said, I remain, not a runner, but simply someone who runs.